"Let's go outside? Outside? Please?"

It's not that I'm a mean person. And It's certainly not that I enjoy watching people beg. It's just that going outside with Dawson wasn't at the top of my agenda. Sylvia had just left for a week of study a few hours away, and I was feeling the weight of taking care of him all week, and covering all the other normal duties as well.

We made our way to the backyard, and it hit me- This was likely the last nice day of the year- we weren't even wearing jackets. After a windy weekend, there was a fresh layer of crisp leaves on the ground. We began playing with his bucket of balls, and sliding down the play structure. But the real fun began when he realized that there were so many leaves. I mean, who comes up with the best entertainment than God Himself. It wasn't long before we were laughing so hard, that he could barely stay sitting without falling over. We did this for a good while. Later, Auntie L came by and enjoyed the moment with us. These moments were the definition of joy.

I learned a few key personal lessons that day, not the least of which is this; It's never the wrong time to do the right thing. We're all busy. We all have things that should have been done yesterday. But what would I have missed that day?

So here I am, a week later, with this great reminder of the experience, and what do you know, there's snow on the ground! It's a good thing I took the time. But hey, that means now we'll have to start making snow memories, right? Enjoy your day. -t

A miracle

Dawson survived his opthamologist appointment quite well. Thank you for your prayers! We certainly felt them, as he only expressed his hunger for the first time when we arrived at the hospital. Now, this is very unusual for Dawson! The room Dawson was given provided us with privacy and a TV and DVD player. Some movies from home really helped the situation.

We struggled when we heard him say "Ow" when the medication first entered his body to sedate him, then about 5 seconds later, his eyes closed. That was pretty wierd!

The way coolest thing about the whole appointment is the Dr., who has known Dawson for longer than we have, was completely shocked. His prescription in his worst eye is 1/2 the prescription reading that he has always gotten. This means, either the Doctor got the prescription wrong about 6 - 8 times in the past, or God performed a miracle and healed his eye! None the less, Dawson can see much better with the one eye than we had anticipated, though his eyesight is not good in either eye, one was not far off from blindness.

Is this why he has been so aggressive - maybe his depth perception is off, or maybe he has headaches? Who knows. I guess, we'll find out when the new lenses are made in about 2 weeks!

Thanks for your prayers! -s

School's in!

Many of you have been checking our blog, and, unfortunately, we haven't been doing our part in keeping it updated. We apologize for this. Life goes on, and, unfortunately, blogging is not at the top of the priority list.

Dawson continues to love school. He has five excellent EA's this year, and has started attending his grade 1 classroom. His classroom teacher explained at our meeting last week, that whenever Dawson joins the classroom, they stop what they're doing and begin singing. She has quickly learned how to connect with him. Of course, he loves this! He is so blessed!

He is now in school for full days, so he can join in the afternoon activities. They do incredibly fun stuff! The Special Ed students go horsebackriding one afternoon a week, go shopping, tour places, etc. They always have something fun, yet educational or therapeutic, planned for every afternoon. Dawson responds excellent to horses. His language fluorishes when he's on a horse. Full sentences come out when he's riding (we think they're not echolalia, but not sure). None the less, he sits on the horse for about 20 minutes completely engaged.

As a prayer request, we ask you to pray for him next week Wednesday. He will be consciously sedated to allow the Pediatric Opthamologist to take a decent look at his eyes. As you probably recall, Dawson has ROP (Retinopathy of Prematurity) which basically means that his retina can detach at any moment. If this happened, he would likely become blind unless we caught it within a few hours. Knowing him, he's not the type to say: "Hey mom, my eye's blurry!"

At our quarterly appointments, it's an enormous challenge to be successful in determining the state of his retina (and his prescription). Therefore, sedation is necessary. Our greatest concern is that he cannot eat or drink from 6:30am that day till 11:30 am. Anyone who knows Dawson well knows this will be a huge challenge! Please pray for Dawson to not feel hungry or thirsty that morning, and for patience and distraction opportunities for us!

Thank you for your prayers regarding this and your interest in our lives! God bless!

Impulse Control

Okay. In the middle of a lack of impulse control stretch here. Sometimes it feels as though Dawson is a medical experiment when it comes to the meds that are prescribed to him. He was showing a real increase in aggression. So the Dr. prescribed a change, which was so disastrous that after three ruthless days of 1, 2, 3 hour meltdowns, we took him off of the med. Fortunately those intense meltdowns stopped, but we're kinda back to square 1 here. So the aggression is back, and he seems to not be able to control his impulses at all. But you know, we know that we're in good hands- in God's hands. It's nice holding such a strong Hand. -t

God's blessings

God is faithful! Thank goodness He is in charge of our lives.

Terry and I went on a trip a few weeks ago, and standing at the top of the tallest building in the city, we looked down at all the moving dots below us. We reflected that God, from much higher than we were, looks down at all of those 'dots' and knows each one by name. He knows the crosswalk coming up in front of them, even though they can't see it because their path is crowded by other pedestrians. When the time is necessary, He allows them to see the crosswalk and pass. This has been such comfort to us as we await His leading in our lives. We can't see the future clearly, but we know He can and He will not forget about us!

God has blessed us with our need for two new excellent respite workers. Although Dawson will certainly miss the other two very important people in his life, God will give him strength. He also has blessed us to be part of a marvellous school division which is willing to be accommodating to his needs. One example of their excellent care is that the school is allowing him to spend some time in school during the summer, so as to be as consistent as possible in his programming. We have so much to be thankful for!

On the other hand, Dawson is struggling with a major medication change. His hitting has really increased in severity and frequency, likely due to the change. He is getting really strong - take a look at his calves - so this makes any contact with him more intense. The psychiatrist is currently recommending Dawson not spend time with other children due to his frequent hitting. This is hard to take, but we need to be really careful with whom he socializes at this point. Even though we don't like the recommendation, we can see the need for it. It's not fair to the other kids to be whacked unnecessarily.

Nonetheless, God is still in control and He knows what He's doing and He will give us the wisdom to work appropriately with Dawson! He will not give us more than we can handle! So, on we go! -s

Cry out to Jesus

Well, this is about as low as it gets. Every once in a while (3-4x per month), Dawson gets up this early. Not always this early, but today it just seems extra hard to take. 3:00 is a normal time for him to come to our bed every night, but today, as is the case once in a while, I knew by his wiggling, talking and hitting, that he was up for good.
My faith is being stretched, as I contemplate why God allows this to happen. Or why his little body can't comprehend that it needs more rest.
And the thing is, he keeps wanting to go back to bed, but not five minutes late, is up, wanting out of his room. In seemingly entire aloneness. I have no choice, but to trust God's hand- that this is somehow for His glory.
The words that are of strength to me right now at 3:30, 3:45, 3:48- are the words from a Third Day song- but they could just as well come right out of Scripture- "There is hope for the hopeless, rest for the weary and love for the broken heart. There is mercy and par den, grace and forgiveness, to meet you wherever you are. Cry out to Jesus. Cry out to Jesus." That's what I'm doing. -t

How's your summer going?

Hey everyone. Here's a quick shout out to all you friends and family out there. We hope your summer is going well, and that you are finding time to relax.
Dawson is seemingly not complaining about his summer- why should he? He's averaging 3-4 swimming times per week, not to mention the times with the mini pool and sprinkler in the back yard. Oh to be young again!
We're busy contemplating the future, as both workers B and C will be moving on this fall. They have both been a complete blessing to Dawson and us, with their hard work (more on a tribute to them in the near future). We are praying and looking for at least 2 workers. We ask that you pray with us in this matter, as not just anyone can regularly do that type of work.
Otherwise, the summer is moving along as usual- I like the cool rainy days, and Sylvia prefers the heat and sun. We are also on the cusp of a potential move towards ministry for me, and will be able to update that shortly.
Thanks to all for your prayers. We love you all. -t

A Beautiful Repreave

It's been said that one often doesn't know they need a break, until they take one. Well actually, I don't know if anyone actually penned that phrase, but I believe it.

Last week, we spent an entire week away- by far the most time that both of us have been away from Dawson. We simply took time for each other, and enjoyed celebrating 10 years of marriage. When it came time to come home, we were refreshed, and felt ready to welcome normal life again. Thanks again to all those that stuck around to help take care of him during this time. -t

A Tribute to Servants

First off, any of you that check this regularly, please forgive this tardiness. It has never been our goal to wait over a month between entries. The only plausible explanation is summer- and all the distraction that it brings.

So with that out of the way, let me bring a special tribute to a whole bunch of special people- a tribute to all Dawson's caregivers.

Of course, any old entry would never do, and not even many elegant words would either. We are so very blessed by the army of people that show their support of us, in the various ways that they help him and us. There are so many different ways that we see people rally around us on a daily basis.

Take workers B & K- Always enthusiastically doing their work with him- cheerfully, creatively and faithfully.

Or take Grandma and Grandpa- having him for the night- giving us a break.

Take Auntie L, coming to our house to watch him, just so she can be with him.

Or Take our case worker A, who has worked tirelessly, trying to get as many funds on our behalf, daily fighting against the bureaucracy and red tape that can so easily make it's way into every situation.

Or cousin E, coming over to watch Veggie Tales together with Dawson- and help out in other ways.

How about those super-duper EA's at school that keep flooring us with their creativity and longevity.

And then there's people like Mrs. H at church, who has made it very clear that we can call any time- and we often have.

Listen, this list could go on and on, and the more people I would list, the more people I think I would miss. The point is, I will need to stop at some point, because I know I won't get everyone.

Look, here's the thing- we are blessed. And we have an incredible group of God's army that rally around us every day and every hour. Not a day goes by, where we are not somehow touched in a big or small way, by someone who is helping us.

This following week is no exception, as we will depend on a chorus of people who will watch him(Auntie L, Uncle C and cousin E will stay at our house) while we go on a week long trip- just the 2 of us, celebrating our 10 year anniversary.

So here's to all of you- so very many of you, who make our lives so much more wonderful.

We love you all. -t

So here's

How can I keep from singing?

Amidst the heightened struggles that we have had lately, there has been a constant reminder that our trials are in perspective. Throughout his life, Dawson has never gone more than a few hours in a day without singing. This music-making has never been far away for him, and as a result, the bad times can never last long.
Lately, he has been seemingly singing more than normal. It's been amazing seeing how even after a few days into the week, he'll suddenly be singing and remembering a new song that he learned in church on Sunday. The memory is astounding. It's as though he has a photographic memory in a musical sense.
And the way he sings from the heart! We are always encouraged when he'll be singing "Show Your power oh Lord our God. Show your Power oh Lord, our God," in his very broken pronunciation. It's as though he believes absolutely every word that he is singing (we could all learn something from that when we worship).
And the pitch! I don't know many kids that can sing with such near perfect pitch. It's actually been fun in the last while, because he can carry his voice quite well now, that it allows me to occasionally sing in harmony to him. For me as a regular leader of worship, it's a dream come true!
I hope that if you're reading this, that you can also be encouraged by someone making music. I'll leave with these words from one of my favorite sections in Psalms (95:1-3), and words that Dawson seems to testify to us every day;
"Come, let us sing for joy to the LORD; let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation.
Let us come before him with thanksgiving and extol him with music and song.
For the LORD is the great God, the great King above all gods."
With words like that, how can we keep from singing? -t

He will come through-Always

We grew up believing in the simple concept that when times became seemingly unbearable, God would never allow us to experience more than we were able to bear.
This concept has become more real than ever as time goes on.
In our entries, we have often expressed the difficulties Dawson has regarding nighttime. In the last few weeks, it has gotten worse than normal. Dawson frequently gets up at 2, 3, 4 and so on. Often he falls back asleep, but often, he is up for the day. This of course becomes very tiresome as you can imagine.
It was becoming almost too much to handle. Then, as we have grown to realize, God provided a beautiful little reprieve for us. One of our many loved ones offered to watch him for both nights on the weekend at our place. How amazing! See, it never fails. Good is good.
Now, I'd love to expand on this thought, but for now, I'm still tired, and I'll just close to say that first of all, God is always good- He has proven over and over, that He will come through. Second, we have an incredible group of supporting cast around Dawson. Amazing. Now it's time to go to bed. -t

Dora

Dawson has had a variety of fixations over his lifetime. When he was 1 1/2 or so, he was fixated on cars and the spinning of wheels on them. After that, he became fixated on Veggie Tales, then it was Nemo, and now it clearly is Dora.

We watch (and play) Dora from the time we wake up till the time we go to bed! If you are at all familiar with Dora, Dora and Boots always have someplace to go. They always have three steps to get to their location, such as jungle-river-Dora's house!! or Bridge-rock-waterfall!! We, as parents and caregivers have the honor of distinguishing which episode he wants to watch by key words such as: "River", or "library", "friends" or "Baby Dino"(that's a pretty easy one). At this point, we rummage through our brains to figure out which episode has that item in it. Then we locate the DVD or VHS (copied episodes from TV) and find the right location on the movie to watch. At that point, Dawson rushes to the closet to pull out his bin of "Dora blocks", finds all the charachters, and away he goes. He acts out the movie perfectly, and ALWAYS knows exactly what the next scene will be. He quickly finds the correct props, be it a string for the 'zip cord' or an empty container for the 'tram car'. He usually has the charachters in the right order just before the next scene, and when checking against the TV, they are in the exact right position! Unbelievably excellent visual memory! Often, when you hear him sleep talking at night, he frequently says phrases from the show in his sleep.

Tonight we bought some 'emergency' toys. The kind that you pull out when you either pull out a new toy, or your hair!! Guess what? Everything was Dora something or another! But he loves it; and it's a safe show, so who cares? We all will know the songs or catch phrases from the show till well past retirement, but, it makes him happy.

Now does anyone know of an equally catchy show about Bible stories?

-st

The Last Sale

It's almost that time again...
Twice a year, for several years now, a local store has been donating all of their returns and write-offs to us, and we have been hosting a garage sale to raise funds for Dawson's therapy-related things. What started out as a small operation selling plants and donated items has now ballooned into a huge sale that needs to be done 2x a year in order to sell everything. We have been so blessed by this endeavor, and we would have never imagined that it would become so big.
But alas, as with any fundraiser that happens, one gets burned out quickly- and it becomes very hard to manage the enormous task every six months. The list of people that have been involved is endless, especially our immediate family- but none more than Grandma and Grandpa W. Their tireless efforts of hard and painful work have been tremendous through the years. Aside from simply being normal grandparents to Dawson, they have heaped hours upon hours, and evenings upon evenings into this project. There is no way to properly thank you, except to say that may God find a way to bless you, and may Dawson's next kiss on your cheeks carry loads of gratitude and love for what you've done.
So here we go- tomorrow we start, and Saturday we complete the last time we will do this particular project.
Honey, did you bring any Tylenol with? -t

Learning for parents

Spring is here, and Dawson seems to be enjoying the outdoors this spring. What a blessing!

We've been doing lots of learning again, as Spring seems to be the time of year that conferences and appointments come around. As the picture shows, Dawson doesn't mind brushing his teeth, and based on one session I attended, it's a great thing! Prevention is the key! Actually, his front two teeth are a little wobbly, so it appears we may be close to reaching the next stage of his life! I wonder if he'll notice it when they come out. We expect to complete this task one night while he's sleeping, with Daddy's assistance, of course. I don't think the comprehension is there for the 'tooth fairy' quite yet!

Of course, the more obvious situation in this picture is the intense love for his father! Interesting how one moment, Dawson is completely overwhelmed with love for us, and the next moment, he's ever so angry! We do feel the love - most of the time!

Other sessions we've been able to take in recently include one on sleep for FAS children and an intense appointment with his developmental pediatrician. We are also planning on attending a full day session shortly on Sensory Integration from two renown people in that field of study. I'm really looking forward to it! I find this field of study, with all of the conferences I've attended, to be most interesting, as the sensory issues are often underlying issues to anything he does.

It is truly amazing how much we've learned over the last few years, and how that is helping us work with him. With this knowledge, I think he has come much further than he would have been without all of the strategies. Now if only we were more faithful at implementing the strategies all the time!

As you can tell from the posting time, it's late, and life must go on, so off to bed I go! Have an excellent week! -s

Water, Water, WATER!

So this entry is dedicated to one of Dawson's first loves- H2O.

How do you encompass, and properly explain how much water means to kids? Of course Dawson is no exception. He has always loved water- splashing, swimming, wading, drinking, soaking- and tommorow, he'll do it all over again.

If the weather's cold, he'll stand at the sink- shirt off of course, and take his Nemo characters through the regiment of reinacting different scenes from the movie. When the weather gets better, it's time to pull on the rubber boots and check out the latest mini lakes that have been created (that's him and Sylvia, exploring together).

Of course, the biggest joy for him has always been to pull the trunks on, and actually go into the pool. There is no secret to how therapudic water is. The pressure on a person's body does many things, including a secure feeling around them, allowing them to regulate their movements better, and have better impulse control. We are blessed to have family and respite workers that are willing to get wet with Dawson in the pool, the puddle or the sink, and make him truly happy. They are the heros that give him an opportunity to be in his element. Thanks everyone!

Of course, most of us love water too, but for kids that have disabilities, it's a whole new level of appreciation for what it can do, and the way it leaves you feeling. Now, where did we leave the towel? -t

A Great Easter!

First of all a big shout out to all the friends and family members that read this blog from time to time. Hope your Easter went well.

We had a great weekend. I think that Dawson enjoyed the nice balance of family and friends- but not too much! He really does enjoy his cousins, and finds pleasure in the people around him- just like anyone would. He has a limit though, and I think that we were able to read him well this weekend. This resulted in a good memory- it's not always that way.

I would like to say a special thanks to the aunts, uncles and cousins that were so encouraging and gracious to us on Sunday night, in spite of not having brought Dawson with. You showed a lot of understanding, and it resulted in a nice and relaxing evening for Sylvia and I. Many times, people are suspicious of us when we don't bring him with, not trying to understand the reasons. Thanks for being there for us in so many ways.

Thanks for stopping by. Have a great week, and God bless. -t

Easter with Dawson

This Easter, as with most holidays, we will have decisions to make. When do we take Dawson to Church- He doesn't understand why there's no Sunday School, and usually gets angry over that.
Which family gatherings should we go to (kids, crowds, babies, etc.)- and how long should we stay if we do go?
These are a few of the things that any family with kids with disabilities deals with every holiday. Above all, though, we're praying for a weekend where we can tangibly show him the meaning of Easter, and give him a better chance to grasp the concept of a Savior that loves him.
Happy Easter!-t

ALIVE!

This entry is strictly spiritual, and I make no apologies.
Jesus is alive!
You may have heard it in church years ago, or some guy shouting it on the street, but let me say it again, Jesus is alive!
This Easter weekend, we will be hit from every angle, with every sort of commercialized take on the bunny, or the egg or just simply chocolate. The truth is, all of this is utterly meaningless without the knowledge that there is something much greater to Easter than these things.
We believe that Jesus Christ took the punishment that we should of had, and he shed His very precious blood to pay for it. But all of that would be meaningless, had he not had victory over death, and risen again. We have a RISON SAVIOR! This is why we do not carry crucifixes- He is not on the cross anymore. The cross is empty- but more importantly- so is the tomb! We are not bound by a religious- driven order to pray a certain number of times a day, or to make ammends with the gods. We are invited to feast with the King Himself, and to have direct dialogue with the Lord of lords. We have a personal message from Him in the Bible, and follow our lives after it.
This Easter, I pray that your time will be more than the usual, and that you will celebrate life- yours, your family's and above all, Jesus Christ's. -t

He will meet you wherever you are

It was neat to hear and read about the way God worked in Dawson's heart while I was gone. I am continually amazed how even though he seemingly cannot grasp the concept of spiritual things such as remorse or grace, he still shows evidence of them by the way that he dispays joy, or the way he appreciates prayer. Will he ever realize the full extent of prayer, or the saving power of Jesus? I don't know, but I must say that I don't think I will either. And the thing for me as a parent, is to make sure that I can model and teach him about a God that is bigger than his comprehension, and that He can do anything. Really, that's all any parent should want- no matter the child. Enjoy your weekend.-t

We miss Daddy

For those of you who don't know, Terry has been on a business trip since last week Saturday. He returns tomorrow evening, which makes him gone for 6 full days. Dawson and I haven't talked a whole lot about it, but just before bed tonight, I commented that Daddy was coming back tomorrow. That must have triggered the emotions that he was feeling towards missing Terry.

He had a miserable time falling asleep, when he usually falls asleep instantly. I lay with him, I massaged him, I did everything I thought I should do. Eventually, I sat with him on the side of his bed and held him in my arms. I began talking about Terry and that he was on an airplane and he would come back tomorrow. I then prayed a short prayer for Terry. I began hearing Dawson whisper, so quieted down and listened, "Amen" "Amen" Dawson was repeating. I finished off the prayer, and Dawson's breathing INSTANTLY became shallower and his head dropped a bit in my arms. I held him for several more minutes, and he peacefully fell asleep. He missed his dad! How awesome! Yet how difficult to explain this to him.

I was so touched by Dawson's reaction to our conversation and prayer. God really does work in these little guys' hearts. What an awesome God we serve who gives us wisdom how to work with our kids, but also who is the God of peace. Have a peaceful, blessed night!