It all started with the other kids not sitting in their usual spots for singing before Sunday School. They had been instructed to sit with the substitute teacher's class they would be joining for the morning. Change Number One. Dawson was hard to keep in his seat because of the adjustment. We didn't even make it through the usual singing time - which he generally loves! When we hit the basement for Sunday School, we went to a different class than normal. Change Number Two. Content for a few minutes with an obsessively favorite "Nemo" puzzle, we remained generally out of the peer's eye. Patience grew thin, and boredom took over. Suddenly, he was wandering through the seven happy children, focused on the Bible story while flannelgraph pictures were being posted on the board. Any amount of restraint or redirection would create vocal protest, soon leading to kicking and the threat of pushing, shoving and pulled hair. God graciously gave us a "prayer time" when the other children were thanking God for the three wise men, for us to escape and go home. Near tears, we drove home early from church. Again.
Minor changes. For the average child. Huge, sometimes, insurmountable changes for him. I think I'm stressing out because I can't handle all the little quirks he has, or the sensitivities to almost everything. But, what about him? I can send him off to school or to respite or to grandparents houses. But he can't. He can't send that over-sensitive part of his being to grandma's and keep the calm, collected part at home. He has immense difficulty with changes, and the smallest adjustment to his usual routine schedule can put his day onto a rollercoaster ride we all must ride on (like it or not!) He lives with this all day. Every day. 365 days a year. 24/7. Wow!
It helps me realize why it's OK to let him have his 'zoning' time. Time where he re-plays favorite parts of movies with certain characters (blocks, stuffed animals, Little People, etc), and can 'zone' out. I'd want to too! It makes me appreciate him and the truly incredible job he does do keeping himself together. God is working mightily every minte in his life, helping him regulate his feelings and control his actions, though He certainly uses medication to help along!
There is always tomorrow. And tomorrow holds great promise, as the bus will be here promptly at 8:47, and Dawson will have the time of his life saying "Good Morning" to his educational assistant (EA), and riding off into the sunlight with the prospects of school at the end of the bus route! There is hope! Praise God! -S
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2 comments:
Just wnated to be sure if this comment is coming through. Sara
I'm sure not many of us realize the challenges you face each day. However by posting your events you may be encouraging others who are experiencing a similar situation and they in return can encourage you. I am so thankful that Dawson has parents who in a loving, caring way provide the possibility for him to develop to his fullest potential. May God grant you the wisdom and strength to raise and train Dawson as one of His "precious ones".
God's promises are like stars, the darker the night,the brighter they shine. Sara
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